Much of my life I have created inner conflict with myself that has given me an edge of fear and complicated feelings that led me into sadness and envy. I sought to find inspirational people that weren’t just idols that were mere representations of people I could appreciate in my own reality, my family. I spend much of my life weaning myself from thoughts of despair and agony, I sent myself into a void of understanding and love so I could understand how I truly wanted to live my life.
But it is difficult when people tell you who you ought to be, what to wear, how to look. Enough is enough. Then one thing led to another. I got sick of people justifying my life’s purpose for me.
In those times where felt much desperation and longed for hope within my self I looked for inspiring people, I looked to those who were my closest to me, my family.
All my uncles and aunts give me reason to be human, to make mistakes, fall, fail and get back up again.
One of my aunts who has given much time to progress through her schooling as a nurse gave me an idea. Not intentionally, as we never talked about the idea or what it really meant in person, but she did what she had to do to excel in life to take care of her family. Of course that gave me an idea of what means I should go by to live my life to the fullest.
In recognition that I can in succeed if I put thought into my decisions by giving those thoughts deep gestures of love, light, and compassion. I think that those thoughts will flourish into great things…those thoughts to me are just like plants. They don’t just need food based materials to flourish they need love and compassion too. There are studies that thoughts are things and for that matter so are the things that can be spoken into existance. I thought this about many things, like where to go next in my life currently…which turn to I take? What do I do now?
Life truly is an adventure.
What would it mean to me is if I were given a different set of circumstances? I don’t think that would have changed the way that I lived my life, I think that the mistakes I made were to realize the truth within those mistakes. The things that made me run away from excelling in a broken system was because that was the way I see, broken. This doesn’t necessary mean that it can’t be lived by, it just means that the system and properties produced by the media and popular bias’ of the people are actually quite screwed up perceptively, but it will be okay. I always think that after a storm there is a rainbow, even if the rainbow isn’t what we quite expect it to be in appearance. Things are never quite what they seem to be in perceptive reality. For that I applaud mother nature for covering things up so mystically.
on a side note…
Despite the many things in life that made me stray away from my true passion of story-telling & creating visual representations of life situations, I will keep moving forward. Besides, who knows what God has in store for me, it could be pretty sweet.
A Shirt Theme For My Blog Yes, this is a link to shirt site, but I think for every post that I do about life I am going ot me a shirt theme for it.
Oh and here is the shirt just in case you don’t want to click on the link